Manly Jewels
Info A gender flipped version of the Jewels. Ruby is a male otaku, Topaz is a hot Latino man, Citrine is a male gyaru, Emerald is a trans woman, Sapphire is a kodana (male lolita), Spinel is just the same except a bit misogynic and Amethyst is a femme boy (100% looks like a girl). NOTES * I'M TO LAZY TO PUT A MALE GENDER SIGN INFRONT OF THEIR NAMES! THE FEMALE VERSIONS DON'T APPEAR SO YEAH THEY'RE ALL MALE Manly Jewels The episode starts out with all seven of the men at the table. On the left, Sapphire, Spinel, Amethyst and Ruby. On the right Emerald, Topaz and Citrine. Ruby is on the phone with a couple of woman, Topaz is sitting there annoyed. Citrine is happily eating food. Emerald is sitting there politely and patently. Sapphire is playing with his hair.Spinel is staring at Amethyst. Amethyst is sitting there like a cute cinnamon roll. Ruby: What? Okay! Okay! yeah!...yeah! Make sure to be here before eight!bye! *Ruby puts his phone down*. Topaz: So...what did they say? Ruby: They said they'll be running a little late Topaz: OH COME ON! MY DICK CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG Sapphire: I wouldn't be surprised if they were trying to escape... Spinel: I wouldn't be surprised if they're trying to keep their vagina's clean! You know how woman are! Emerald: Or they're probably having a glittery time if ya know what i mean...*Starts laughing to herself* Topaz: Uggh! Here he goes again guys with his weird shit! The woman aren't dykes you faggot! Emerald: HEY DON'T MISGENDER ME! WHO SAYS THEY'RE STRAIGHT!? Spinel: They're probably trying to escape because of you Emerald! Emerald: What? Why? I'm not psycho or anything! Topaz: You think you're a girl when you're a fucking guy! Your genital says so! ha! ha! ha! Emerald: WELL HOW DO WE NOT KNOW THEY'RE AVOIDING AMETHYST? Sapphire: Oh shit! You're right! I mean we're all guys but Amethyst here...looks like a girl... Amethyst: Hey! Well at least I pass! Emerald: Fuck you! Spinel: He's fucking right! Amethyst makes a better prettier girl than the green weirdo! Topaz: OH SHIT! SPINEL'S RIGHT! AMETHYST LOOKS AND ACTS LIKE A GIRL AND IF HE HAD SEX THEY WOULDN'T BEABLE TO TELL IF HE WAS A BOY BECAUSE HIS PENIS IS LIKE 0 INCHES! HA! HA! HA! HA! Ruby: Will you all knock it off! They're not trying to avoid us! I mean come on! They would've cancelled right away! Please respect these woman! Spinel: Unless they respect us I'll respect them! being a fucking hour late!....Really? Emerald: Wow! With your misogynistic views their probably avoiding you because they don't want to be around you! Topaz: Look man! just because you're gay and you're dating a dude who looks like lady doesn't mean you need to disrespect REAL women! Sapphire: Not surprised there! You hate women but you'll date a boy who looks like a girl... Citrine: Hmmm maybe he's the type of dude that'll date shemales but not real woman... Spinel: Fuck all of you! Go to hell! Ruby: Guys! Guys! Please! Calm down! Lets not let these girls think we're losers! Amethyst: *Putting on purple glitter lip gloss* Hey Ruby what kind of woman are coming? Ruby: They're every kind Amethyst: What? Citrine: Describe please! Ruby: Nerdy, slutty, energetic, shy, cold as ice, lesbian and sweet Topaz: No SJWs right???? Ruby: No Topaz: Good! those are the only bitches I would not bang! Ruby: Alright fellas as men we have to respect and treat women like princesses! They're special and important in our lives! Not to mention us dudes can't live without them! I as a popular dude always have the ladies all over me! So you guys need to act like your big brother a.k.a leader and be like me! Sapphire: Get serious Ruby! Ruby: Excuse me? Sapphire: What you are saying is literally bullshit! Spinel: Yeah! Treat them like princesses??? Respect is earned! Women already are treated like princesses! If you automatically have a vagina you're already treated like a fucking princess! Amethyst: Honestly I think being a popular greedy loser is just stupid! Citrine: Yeah! Only losers do that! Topaz: Unless it's for sex I'll treat my gal like a princess but if it's for love...no! That's only what mangina's do!!! Emerald: Not all women have vagina's Spinel! I'm a woman and I haven't been treated like a fucking princess yet! Have I? Ruby: OH THAT'S IT YOU MOTHER FUCKERS! YEAH I KNOW WE DON'T HAVE WOMEN ON THIS PLANET EXCEPT FOR HUMAN WOMEN! STILL WE SHOULD FUCKING RESPECT THEM! HONESTLY LOSERS WHO LOOK AND ACT LIKE A GIRL BUT STILL IDENTIFY AS A BOY ARE FAGGOTS! OH MY GOD RESPECT ME FOR HAVING THE HUGEST PENIS EVER...NO! CHOKE ON YOUR OWN DICK DUMBASS! WOMEN AREN'T SEX OBJECTS YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD! AND ALL WOMEN DO HAVE VAGINA'S! IT'S A BIOLOGICAL FACT! I'M NOT SORRY THAT YOU WERE BORN WITH A FUCKING PENIS AND HAVE TO STATE THAT MAKING YOURSELF FEEL BETTER NOT MY GOD DAMN FAULT! WHY AM I FRIENDS WITH YOU FUCKING LOSERS? Citrine: *Starting to fake cry* Oh my god! You're so mean Ruby! Is that what you think of us *Citrine looks around but none of the guys are buying it* My god! I should kill myself I bet you won't care! *Citrine looks around again just to have all the guys stare at him annoyed* WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH Topaz: OH SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU'RE FUCKING ANNOYING! YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW THAT SHIT DOESN'T WORK ON US! Citrine: Sorry.... Sapphire: I understand you Citrine! Citrine: For real!? Sapphire: No! Citrine: Huh? Sapphire: Anyways our real enemies are guys themselves! Just the other day when i was taking a shower I guy asked if my junk was really that big! I told him to fuck off! Topaz: *Smirks* Is your junk actually that big? Sapphire: WHY THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER? IT ISN'T ANY OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUISNESS! Emerald: You know this has been bothering me for some time but Sapphire...not to be rude but your breath stinks! Sapphire: What?! Topaz: Yeah man! What the fuck do you eat!? Citrine: hehehehe smelly sapphire... Sapphire: YEAH WELL AT LEAST I DON'T JIZZ IN MY FUCKING PANTS A MILLION TIMES A DAY EVERY TIME I SEE A FUCKING GIRL! Topaz: HEY I CAN'T HELP IT! WOMEN ARE FUCKING PRETTY OKAY! AT LEAST MY DICK ISN'T BIG TO HAVE A NOTICEABLE BONER! Emerald: Jeez Topaz...you're disgusting.... Amethyst: You are! For one you never change your underwear for a week! You smell like a skunk mixed with a stink bug plus trash and cat urine! I've seen you do your business in public which is just absolutely gross and I ain't talking about number 1...You're gross Topaz! You are disgusting! Spinel: OH SHIT HE WENT THERE! Citrine: CRAPPY TOPAZ! CRAPPY TOPAZ! Topaz takes out his gun Topaz: THAT'S IT! ALL YOU FAGGOTS THINK ABOUT ALL DAY IS PUSSY! YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU AND YOU! HAHAHAHAHA! FUCK ALL OF YOU GUYS! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! AND FUCK YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Ruby: *Suddenly hugs Topaz* Topaz calm down! You know we don't mean it! You're our best friend! We always joke around with each other! calm on man! We're friends! us guys got each others backs! No matter what will happen we'll always be friends forever! Topaz: Damn you're right Ruby! Citrine: We shall have a party after this! Emerald: Life without you boys would suck! Sapphire: No matter what happens we'll always stick together! Amethyst: I love all of you! Spinel: We don't even need women! suddenly Ruby's phone rings Ruby: Oh shit....*Answers phone* Hello...WHAT?! YOU AREN'T COMING? WHAT THE FUCK?! THE END